The fat rain drops pounded on the ground. It echoed through the chimney; plink, tink, plonk. It gushed out of the gutters and onto the brown grass. There was freshness in it as the drops poured from the gray cloud-filled sky. I sat, looking out the window, as the rain drops hit the puddle that had formed in the folding chair. I have always felt a sadness that went along with rain. And this time was no different.
Cassie was happy today though. There are so many days when she is just sad, grouchy, and angry and those days always seem to be followed by rainy days. She can feel it coming, and it doesn't make her feel well. I think, from what I can determine from her mood and actions that it down right hurts.
When I was a teenage girl and I was babysitting, I loved the children I cared for…for the most part. Having children looked fun and easy. Now, as I am in my 17th year of mothering/parenting, etc., I have found that the fairy tale only exists in pieces; small glimpses of wonderful-ness.
There are fairy tale moments, indeed. There are glimpses of beauty in motherhood. And when they happen I pause and try to take in those precious pieces of my day. They don’t last, but THEY are what make parenting worth it…especially when many moments are filled with the day to day, and the hurts, trials and troubles of life.
One of my struggles has always been in knowing what each child needs and finding a way to meet those needs. Months ago we eliminated food dyes and other dyes from Cassie’s life followed by ridding her of gluten. The change in her has been extremely significant. She is happier. She talks more. She actually talks to people outside of our house….sometimes. She is sweet and funny. And when she has a bad day I find myself searching again for answers and ideas that could help her to be happy.
As of late, the topic or thought on my mind has been trying to determine a cause for these hard days and then a solution. I haven’t found it yet, but I’m sure through prayer and pondering I will be led to the right information that will bless our lives as a whole.