I am a Mormon stay-at-home-mom of six. Yeah, I know, "that's a lot of kids"! Sometimes it truly is A LOT. Most of the time it's not. It's simply put...our normal. On my page you'll find spiritual thoughts, tales of trials, happy moments, recipes, funny stories, and more. Enjoy!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Monday's Marvelous Memo

Perspective and Words

As you can plainly see...I skipped writing on Sunday.  That will be my routine with this blog.  I will write Monday through Saturday...barring any unforeseen circumstances.

Over the weekend I was pondering frequently on the topic of "perspective".  One of my favorite things to say, as of late, is, "It's all about perspective".  It's very very true.  Life IS all about our perspective.  We respond according to how we see the situation.  Sometimes the way we see a certain situation can be a little bit skewed or off or not very realistic.  When we try to see things in a new light or from a different angle, we may be shocked at the difference in how we feel about an event or conversation.  Especially when dealing with another person, we can never really know what they are thinking or what their perspective is unless they tell us.

This is something that I can apply to my daily interactions with my family.  If I can try to see things through their eyes, I might be a lot more understanding of their choices or actions.

While watching a movie last night, something one of the main characters said really hit home for me. I was watching The Letter Writer. It's not the best acting but the messages that are taught are awesome.  (Here's a trailer for you... The Letter Writer trailer)

The character, Sam, was talking about the words we use and how they can effect another person. Words are extremely powerful.  I love words.  I've always loved how they can paint a picture in your mind. They can be used in a variety of ways. They can be kind, beautiful or lyrical.  They can be harsh, cruel or mean.  They can be used to lift another person up and "fill their bucket" or they can be used to tear another person down and "dip from their bucket".

Our perspective on a situation can effect how we use words toward another person.  We need to be careful how we use our words so that we can have a positive effect on others.  When we change our perspective to a more positive view we may also choose different words to say too.

This last summer I was able to participate in a parent training with Tough Point Autism Services.  My case manager taught me a great deal about Autism.  She helped me see a new perspective.  A huge lesson I am continuing to learn is that when working with a child with Autism you must be very careful with your wording and phrasing.  You must be direct and clear.  There can be no insinuations.  Nothing can be vague, with unspoken meanings. Sarcasm is lost on them. Talking to them is like relearning how to speak.  It's a daily struggle to reword everything you are in the habit of saying.  But when I realized that these individuals don't have the capacity to understand the words we are saying, my perspective changed and I have a great desire to change the way I communicate with my son.

My son does not deal very well with his dad traveling.  He gets angry and lashes out.  He has been doing better with his dad's traveling, but recently when his dad left on a business trip he got very upset.  He was pushing, hitting, growling and yelling at his siblings and me.  When those types of things are happening in the middle of church service, it's quite embarrassing.  I'm so thankful for the inspiration that changed my perspective immediately.  I was able to choose my words more carefully and address the true reason for the outburst.  I was able to be very direct and kind. The remainder of church went well.  The outbursts continued at home, but once I was aware of his perspective, I was able to handle the situations better.  

Next time you encounter a situation that is stressful or hard, try to see things from a new, more positive perspective.  Adjust your responses so that your words are more kind and uplifting.  Watch and see how a change in your perspective and your words can make a huge difference in your life.

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