These same types of questions plague us when our kids hit milestone ages too. These are normal things to ponder. And when we ponder them, we are taking a closer look at ourselves. We see those things that we could improve upon. We see those things we should put a stop to. We see those things we are doing well. And during this time of introspection we should take an opportunity to focus on what we have done well. Have we loved our children and expressed it daily? Have we taught them to be good, kind people?
We should NEVER beat ourselves up over mistakes. When we do, we are letting Satan win. The best parents are those who see their mistakes and fix them!
When your child struggles, make sure they know that you are there for them. Talk with them without judging them or being critical, or correcting them. Share your wisdom with them, kindly. I am not always the most patient person, and at times, have not wanted to wait for them to say what is one their mind. When I have let them think and then speak, we both have felt better about our conversation. Use kind tones and kind words. Talk to them the way you would want to be spoken to. Find good sources with sound parenting advice. I like going to the Lord in prayer and reading the scriptures. I also like going to lds.org to find articles and talks on the topics I need. Find what works best for you.
A great book I have read parts of is called "Teaching Your Children Values" by Richard and Linda Eyre.
This month's Ensign has a great article called "Raising Resilient Children". It has good, sound advice for raising children.
The key is to remember that non of us are perfect. We try each day to become better people and over time we improve and are becoming better. Focus on the positive. Point out the positive. When you see that you are making mistakes, stop them, correct them and move forward. When you do these things you can find peace in knowing that you're doing your best to be a good, righteous parent.